Sunday, Day 8

Today is the Lord's Day! Surely He has good surprises for all of us, right?

As I reflect over the day, I think my attitude problems from Saturday spilled over into today. AAARRRGGG! Look what good things happened today! Our meeting room for worship was ready and waiting for us. A set-up crew showed on time (not everyone, but most). The worship team was prepared and did a great job of leading us in music. We celebrated the Lord's Supper together. We issued a local minister's license to Berto. Out of their spontaneous generosity, Lorna, Felisha and Lidia cared for the kids. My kids brought Dante with them. Lidia made sausage-cheese balls for the refreshment table. The sun was shining.

A lot of good things were happening, but in my spirit I felt nothing happening. It was if I was in a bubble watching the world of Sunday morning go on around me. This is "my zone"! I AM the pastor, right? This is usually where I feel very comfortable. This morning, not. Even Alan commented to Lidia (why not directly to me?) that I looked depressed.

OK, I admit it. I sometimes focus my attention on the empty chairs, rather than the needy persons sitting in the room. I am conflicted about people who make promises, and then flake at the last minute, sometimes with notification, sometimes not. I wonder if Sunday evening worship is even viable right now (only the three leaders showed up tonight). I hurt inside when people keep their hurts inside, away from you, God.

Well, there it is, out on the table. The pastor's guts, out on the table for everyone to see. It looks like a pity party, huh? Yeah, that's what I thought. No real surprises there. I have these parties too often.

Lord Jesus, have mercy on me.